Crying Passion
by ahhpleezeninja
Summary: Kahlan's thoughts at the end of night, after she saves Richard from the clutches of Denna. 01x08.


I watch him as he sleeps. And my heart breaks all over again. I almost lost him and it hasn't really hit me until now. I almost lost Richard. I left because I swore my absence was going to protect him but I was wrong. I betrayed him by leaving him. I begin to cry, the weight of almost losing Richard hitting me harder than I thought possible. I cry silently, quieting the sounds of my sobs with my hand. I hate that I allowed my feelings for Richard to take root. If I didn't love him I would only be scared of losing the Seeker and be ashamed that I ran away from my duty. I wouldn't have needed to abandon my duty if I did not love him. It is because I love him, and left him, that Richard is now changed. I only got him back a few hours ago but there is this knowledge behind his eyes that wasn't there before. My Richard has changed, I know that he will be more focused on his mission than ever before. I have a feeling that the smiles and the laughs that use to come so easily will now be few if any. I know that he now understands that there is true evil in the world. Before Denna he was just Richard Cypher, a wood's guide, a boy who followed Zedd and I because we told him it is his destiny to kill Darken Rahl. After Denna, Richard is now the Seeker. He knows evil and he fully understands why Darken Rahl must be killed. I wish Richard would've gotten this piece of wisdom some other way. I wish he didn't have to experience unimaginable pain for this piece of enlightment.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, and I think it is Zedd. Ever since Richard, I notice how the Wizard doesn't fear me as he would have if not for Richard. Richard has never shied away from me. That's when I should've gotten worried. I turn around to see not Zedd but Richard. I look up at him and a fresh new tears begin to pour from my eyes. I turn away from him, not wanting him to see me cry although I already know he's seen me crying for awhile now. I feel his hand leave my shoulder and I know he is going back to his sleeping mat. I wish he wouldn't I want him to hold me, but now that he knows the truth, He will start to fear me like everyone else. I'm surprised when I feel a pair of arms wrap around me. Next thing I know I'm on Richard's lap with my head lying on his shoulder and his arms wrapped around my waist. I begin to cry harder, although my guilt is beginning to go away. No one has ever showed me kindness and warmness like Richard has, this is one of the reasons I've fallen in love with him. I want nothing than to stay in his arms forever but I know I can't. I know that if Zedd is to see us he will say something.

I lift my head to tell Richard that I'm okay, when I notice that his eyes are filled with tears. I lift my hand to grab a tear that comes dripping down his face. I look into his eyes and I see pain, hurt and sorrow. I want to ask why he's crying but then I realize what a stupid question that is. Then he tells me. Richard tells me why he is crying.

" I know you feel guilty and you shouldn't. I don't ever want to see you cry when there is no reason for it. I'm sorry that you had to be the one to rescue me because I know that it hurts you see to me like that. But don't I'm fine and I'm here. So please stop crying".

It is just like Richard to cry not at what he has suffered but to cry because he doesn't want me to cry. Richard and I are quite a pair. I move my palm to his cheek and I begin to say something but then Richard moves until his lips are grazing my palm. He kisses my palm with his eyes closed and he whispers "please stop crying". He opens his eyes and looks at me. He moves my hand back to his cheek and looks at me. I see so much love in his eyes that I feel tears beginning to pool in my eyes. Richard puts his forehead against mines and whispers "please Kahlan stop crying".

Then, Richard kisses me. He brushes his lips against mine softly as not to frighten me. He opens his eyes and moves his head back. I don't know what he sees in my eyes but whatever he sees makes him roughly put his lips back on to mine. This is kiss is more passionate than the kiss we shared before Denna came. I'm crushed against his chest with my hand behind his neck. Richard runs his hand down my back causing me to gasp. My mouth is now breathing in his air while my tongue has a battle with his. His tongue mimics what are bodies would do if we were to consummate are love. I moan softly and arch my back. He changes the angle of our kiss, before moving his lips down my neck. My nails dig into the skin on his neck when he bites on my collar bone. I moan again and that's when our lips meet again. I want to feel him closer to feel him above me, easing this ache that I don't know how to take away but an ache I know is caused by desire, for him.

Richard's thoughts must have gone down the same road because he turns the frenzy kiss into something soft and beautiful. When the kiss slows down and we end up back before desire hit us, Richard pulls away. I don't know what to say. I should feel guilty but I don't. Richard then says " I would say sorry for kissing you but I wouldn't mean it" and gives me the brightest smile ever. It then dawns on me that even though Denna took away an innocence within him, a part of it will always remain there because of me. And for that I am grateful. I smile back at him and he holds me while we watch the fire in silence. I don't remember anything but falling asleep in his arms, feeling safer than I have in years.


End file.
